Preparing for Marriage

This week we talked about the different steps toward marriage. There is Dating, Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage. A lot of times we don't think that it is necessary to include all of these steps when we are looking for someone that we want to start a life with. A lot of times young couples run into the problem of just hanging out instead of treating their relationship seriously. Marriage is not easy and if the time spent leading up to it is not preparing you it will be difficult. It is important for couples to spend a lot of time together to get to know one another. The more time you spend together the better prepared you will be to take the next step. Dating is a time to try out many different partners without getting too serious or attached. Once you have found someone that interests you it is time to court them and show them that you care. After a while of courting and strengthening your relationship you can move into engagement which is a promise towards marriage. I think young people rush these steps and end up in serious relationships that they were not ready for. It is important to take each step at a time and make sure you are progressing with a person that you see a future with. Don't waste your time with hanging out in groups. Get out there. Meet lots of different people, and date with a purpose.

Family Systems Project Talk

We have been working on a family systems project and I thought I would share some of the thoughts I had about what I learned. It is interesting to go through and depict the different roles each family member plays and the interactions between siblings and parents. I realized a few things that I want to do in my future family. I know when I have a family of my own I want my children to love and respect one another and be close friends. I hope to have my children be somewhat close in age. My parents have always been extremely united and supportive of each other. They are a good example of the kind of relationship I want to have with my husband. I want our parenting styles and skills to compliment each other. I will make sure that each of my children are loved and reared individually. Each child is different and won’t necessarily respond to the same technique of parenting. I think it is important to spend time together as a family and strengthen relationships and realize you are a family for a reason. It was special to take the time to think about my relationships with my family and it made me so grateful. I take my family for granted way too often. I am lucky to be loved as much as I am. It made me want to show my gratitude more often. It was a wonderful experience. 

Gender Roles

I really enjoyed our discussion on gender roles this week. I think it was extremely interesting to hear the different experiences and upbringings from different members of the class. We all have different backgrounds and sibling situations that make our experiences different. There are many different variables that go into making a certain gender the way that they are. Some of the things that are technically considered to be gender specific roles are not necessary true for all individuals. We are all born with innate personalities that make us who we are. We discussed the importance of not only teaching your girls things that are typical for girls and boys skills that are typical for boys. It is beneficial for children to be well rounded and be taught how to do a variety of things. Parents should parent each child despite their gender differently depending on their personality. Siblings will have an influence as well as parents. 

I know in my family of three girls and one boy there were a lot more emotions that the typical family. My brother although a male with many naturally masculine traits was born sensitive. The was only heightened by the fact that he was raised with a bunch of women. My older sister was a tom boy until high school. Then I came along and was a girly girl. This just proves that although certain characteristics are gender specific it does not mean that all individuals will possess those characteristics. 

Entry #3

This week we talked about interesting topics. I was intrigued by the role play we did in class. Students were acting as a Mexican family that were discussing and deciding whether or not it was worth crossing the boarder into America. There was the struggle within the immediate and extended families since spending time together is very important to the Mexican culture. The father ended up going ahead of the rest of the family. This unfortunately caused major strain on the family. The father was lonely and found it hard to trust people. The mother was forced to work in order to make ends meet. The kids were neglected more and as a whole family they were not as close anymore. It is heart breaking to know that families are trying their hardest to find a better life and in the progress end up growing further apart. It is different for each family but there is a good chance that there will be negative affects on the family relations. It was a good learning experience and it made me more sympathetic to people in broken home families.