It always bothers me when people say that the mother is more important than the father. Although, mothers play an extremely important role in their children's life so do fathers. Research has shown that there is a direct correlation between having a family in the home and the future success of the child. We were assigned to write a paper for class on fatherhood. Part of the assignment was to look up a reliable article on the subject and I was so interested that I read a few. All of them talked about the misconception that fathers don't really matter. We also had the opportunity to reflect on the experiences we had with our own fathers which was a tender opportunity. I know from personal experience that fathers make a difference in the upbringing of a child. He was a very influential person in my life and continues to be. To finish the paper off we were required to think about our future and ponder on the kind of person we want to be as a father for the men and the way we want our husbands to do as women. Who you choose to marry has a resounding effect on the future of your life and your future children's lives.
I would like to share the 5 main points I discovered:
1. Quality Time:
It is imperative that fathers spend quality time with their
children. It is during this time that they are able to form bonds and
relationships. When fathers set aside time to spend with their children they
should not be distracted. This should be a time where the father’s undivided
attention is on his child(ren). Children are very observant. When fathers take
the time to talk with them and make them feel like a priority, it is more
likely that trust will form between the two.
2. Authoritative Parenting
In Child Development class you learn that authoritative
parenting is the most effective. Children are more likely to react well to
consequences and restrictions when they have been communicated well. Fathers
need to make sure that they communicate their expectations to their children.
This way the consequences are not a surprise. This communication of rules
should be done in a loving way with explanation to help the children understand
and be more willing to be obedient.
3. Love
Unconditionally and Express That Love Often
To ensure your children are happy and well adjusted they
need to know they are loved. A good time for fathers too express their
unconditional love is when you are setting and explaining family rules to their
children. It will show them that you expect them to be obedient to your rules
but if they do make a mistake although there are consequences you love them no
less. Showing love is important but verbally saying it often is crucial. It
will reinforce and strengthen a child’s confidence in their fathers love. You
can never say ‘I love you’ too much.
4. Be a Good Example
It is important for fathers to practice what they preach. It
is hard for children to learn the value of hard work or manners if you do not
possess those attributes yourself. Teach your children principles, and then let
them learn by your example. Children will mimic what they see their parents
doing. Be aware that your children’s eyes are always on you.
5. Dad Does Matter
Research shows that there is an influence that fathers have
over their children that mothers do not. Fathers will often have a physical change
when their child is born. He will experience an increase of oxytocin and a
decrease of testosterone. Men were created to be an involved and vital part of
a child’s life. Research proves that children that grow up in homes with loving
involved fathers are more likely to be successful and less likely to get into
trouble. Fathers should never think that their children are better off without
them. A father’s influence and involvement has a long lasting effect.
All five of these
points are important on their own but when you put them together they are a
true force for success. For a child to develop to their full potential these
five things are needed. Dad does matter!!
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